Here We Go Again.

Starting the new year unemployed and knowing that I didn’t want to go back into a 9-5 office job, I had no choice but to make something of my photography career. I started doing a lot of free jobs for family and friends so I could build my portfolio. Before I knew it, I had a Facebook page and and Instagram account and went wild with promoting my work.

The previous May two of our closest friends ended their relationship. This was a big shock to me, and I didn’t quite understand straight away why it all happened. I went to high school with her, so I had known her for nearly 15 years. He was best friends with her boyfriend and they had known each other since they were babies, we were like the awesome foursome, we did a lot of things together and always had so much fun.

After the break up, he decided it was time for him to pack up and travel. I think it was a great idea! In December he left with a round the world solo ticket and I couldn’t have been happier for him, it was his turn to get out there and live the absolute best life he could. There was talk of a meet up overseas somewhere for the two boys but I kept out of it, hoping it wouldn’t happen. I also kept in touch with her, there was no reason not too! She is an amazing person and still to this one day one of my closest friends.

At the end of January I was put in touch with a lovely family looking for a before and after school carer/nanny. I thought this would be a great opportunity for me as it would allow me to continue working hard of my photography.

I started at the end of January 2015 and to this day, I am still looking after these two gorgeous kids. When I am with them, I am reminded of what it was like to be a child and to not have the worries in the world that are currently on my mind. I can relate to them so much, they even go to the same primary school that I went too and I often see all of my old teachers.

I was really wanting to make something of my photography career. There were a few courses that I wanted to enrol in but Im not that type of person. Meeting new people gives me a lot of anxiety, and that whole comfort zone thing that I have spoken about a few times? Yep, this was a big part of it! He found an online course that offered a Diploma in Professional Photography however it cost $1,000 and I wasn’t prepared to spend that kind of money now that I was a part time nanny.

He was so adamant that this is something that I had to do, he knew that I was good at taking photos, but knew I could be so much better. He offered to pay for it, as long as I took is seriously and completed it properly. At first I didn’t want to accept the money because I knew how hard he had worked for it however he insisted that he really wanted for me to do this and it wasn’t up for discussion because I would only talk my way out of it. He gave me the money and told me to register in my own time but it was something that I had to do.

At the end of January, he came to me and said he wanted to go and meet his friend overseers for a little while as this would be his last ‘solo’ trip and it was something that they had talked about doing for years but just got carried away with being in a relationship and work life. I didn’t have much to say about it initially. I didn’t think he would actually go, or I thought he’d just go for a little holiday and meet him over there for a couple of weeks.

I didn’t like to entertain the idea, so I didn’t like talking about it. He would ask me on occasions if I wanted him to go, in which I obviously replied no, but in saying that I had never stopped him from doing things that he loved doing, I was never that type of girlfriend and I never intended on being one.

I tried to explain to him that, he has already done all of his travelling, WE had done our travelling and it was now time to settle down and start thinking seriously about our future. He always told me he knew all of this, and he was already saving for our future and once he got back we would get settled. I believed him.

Before I knew it, he had quit his job and booked his tickets and was leaving in two weeks! What. The. Fuck?!

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